How To Live Lent and Easter With Kids...and Love It

Read to Your Bunny
All of us love our children more than anything in the world. In their first years we feed them so they grow. We bring them to the doctor so they are healthy. We strap them in car seats so they are safe.
But the most important thing in the first years of life is the growth of the mind and spirit. This is when a child learns to love and trust, to speak and listen.
After a child turns two years old, these things are very difficult to learn or teach ever again. Trusting, singing, laughing, and language are the most important things in a young child’s life.
And so they must come first for mothers and fathers, too, because we can never have those years over again.
Every day, make a quiet, restful place for twenty minutes. Put your child in your lap and read a book aloud. In the pages of the book you will find a tiny vacation of privacy and intense love. It costs nothing but twenty minutes and a library card.
Reading to your little one is just like putting gold coins in the bank. It will pay you back tenfold. Your daughter will learn, and imagine, and be strong in herself. Your son will thrive, and give your love back forever.
Rosemary Wells

I first came across this lovely piece of advice about ten years ago, then posted it in the children’s corner of our Pauline Books & Media Center in San Francisco. Here and there I noticed people stop to take it in. Apparently Rosemary’s nudge to get a library card didn’t deter them from buying a book. After all, it’s hard to find our array of titles on faith and Christian values in your typical public library. Whether you buy or borrow, what she says about the indispensable role of parents (and grandparents!) in a child’s early learning can’t be emphasized enough, especially when a book about God’s love for us is included in the cuddling.

That story is easy to tell at Christmas. But during Lent? How do you get past the horror of the Crucifixion? Granted, boys and even some girls are not as squeamish as moms are about this, but the younger the child, the less graphic the story needs to be. Sometimes that will depend on what images they’ve already been exposed to in their churches and homes or what movies they’ve seen, or what they’ve encountered through their older siblings. In any case, you’ll want to reassure them that “Nobody does that anymore,” so that they feel safe.

How do you explain the tragedy of sin to a little person, who has no concept of it yet? Before reading, you may find it helpful to demonstrate the separation of sin to pre-schoolers by coaxing them to try and jump to you from an unreachable distance. Since only the cross can span that distance, the book you’re about to read to them will tell them how Jesus used the cross to do just that. Otherwise, you can let the story say whatever it does without the prep work.

1. Keep it simple. For infants and toddlers, once you find an appropriate book, it will be enough to hold it together and look at the pictures, reading a few words here and there to tell the basic story. Pre-schoolers will be able to understand more and will eventually want to “read” you the story in their own words. One of the best books I’ve ever seen for this purpose is PBM’s own The Road to Easter Day (picture at left). Pain in the illustrations is muted, and joyful colors are vibrant. Every page introduces the next part of the narrative, from Palm Sunday to Jesus’ appearance on the way to Emmaus, as another step “along the road, along the road, the road to Easter day,” conveying the sense that any sadness, while real, is not the end of the story. The Easter Swallows, with its talking animals and birds, creates a safer distance from the tragedy for those primary-age children who may be especially impressed by whatever graphic details they already know of Jesus’ passion.

2. Combine the story with an easy activity or craft. For older kids, The Stations of the Cross Coloring and Activity Book or My First Easter Sticker Book does the trick. The sticker book also simply and happily announces that, “Because Jesus loves us and died for our sins, heaven is open to all of us!” A children’s Bible book, such as My Storytime Bible, with its two-page spread of the Crucifixion and Resurrection, can contextualize that further, if needed.

One of the best activity books around, though, is The Lent-Easter Book—182 pages of stories, games, puzzles, recipes, and crafts that assist parents or teachers in passing on the season’s Catholic traditions…and the faith they express. This spiral-bound treasury also suggests ideas on holding conversations with five- to nine-year-olds and with ten- to fourteen-year-olds.

3. Allow books to teach our little ones to pray and live justly. Even though the cross, backlit by the resurrection, casts its shadow across all of Lent, this liturgical season isn’t just about the cross. Or better, during this reflective time, even children can find in the cross their own reasons for growing in prayer, virtue, and awareness of others’ needs. Books can help them do that.

Primary-age kids are keenly sensitive to the pain of Jesus, especially when they understand how he suffered to forgive and heal them and the whole world of their sins and the sins of others. With its simple, colorful pictures, I Pray the Stations of the Cross stirs their empathy for Jesus’ redemptive suffering and connects that empathy with compassion for others: “Jesus, Mary wanted to be near you, even though it made her sad to see you suffer. Please help me to comfort those in my family who are suffering” (Fourth Station). The Stations of the Cross in My Pocket is a pocket-size version of almost exactly the same text, with a more ornate art style.

Children’s Way of the Cross cleverly adapts for older kids St. Ignatius’s approach to Gospel meditation. It first leads them to imagine themselves right there with Jesus, then to listen to him by means of a passage from the International Children’s Bible, then finally to respond to his love with a sentence from a Psalm. Expressive pen and water color renderings bring the “via crucis” to life.

Of course, Lenten prayer would not be complete without the celebration of the sacraments. The Sacrament of Reconciliation in My Pocket is a pocket-size guide to celebrating the rite and includes an explanation of Reconciliation, a simple examen of conscience on the Ten Commandments, prayers, and a short glossary.

4. With school-age kids, especially with those who are aware that someone has died, any discussion of Jesus’ death can lead to questions about death in general: What happened to them? What will happen to me? What a great opportunity to share hugs and the central message of our faith! Because he rose again, Jesus’ death is a door, not a wall. His death changed death for us all. Because the Son of God, who is human like us, now physically lives by the power of the Holy Spirit, then we, his brothers and sisters who share in that same Spirit, will live forever, too (cf. Romans 8:11). A related kids’ title would be I Will Remember You: A Catholic Guide Through Grief.

If you would like more resources, updated almost daily, go to www.paulinekidsblog.com. You'll find descriptions of PBM titles for kids, book guides, interviews with authors and illustrators, plus spiritual gems for parents and educators. Take a peek, too, behind the scenes at what goes into our kids' books.

For ways to share your finds with other families, look into J-Club, the only Catholic book fair for schools and religious education programs, that couples as a fundraiser.

Looking for something different? For centuries, many Christians trying to exonerate themselves from responsibility for Jesus’ death have pinned it on the Jews. Even after the Second Vatican Council’s Declaration on the Relation of the Church to Non-Christian Religions, the attitude dies hard. We recognize that “the Jewish authorities and those who followed their lead pressed for the death of Christ; still, what happened in His passion cannot be charged against all the Jews, without distinction, then alive, nor against the Jews of today” (n. 4). So PBM offers My Jewish Friend, a fictional account of two boys, one Catholic and the other Jewish, who explain their beliefs and rituals to each other, and so grow in their faith and in mutual respect.The narrative is vividly illustrated and masterfully interwoven with information about both Catholicism and Judaism.

Kids aren’t the only ones who try to figure out whose fault it is when something goes wrong. Yet, they’re less equipped than adults are to accept the unfairness of life without assigning blame. So how do you answer the blame question regarding Jesus’ death? If we can’t point fingers at the Romans or the Jews, what about at ourselves? While it’s true that had we not sinned, Jesus would not have died to forgive us. Even so, we could have sinned from our first breath until our last, and still we would not have caused Christ’s death. Love did that. His love. Christ “loved me and gave himself for me” (Galatians 2:20). All the books we’ve talked about here say that very thing in one way or another. There could be no greater story to read to your little Easter bunny.

Consultant for this week's blog post: Jamie Stuart Wolfe, assistant children's editor, Pauline Books & Media

The Passion Then and Now

Rob Kaczmark and Danny Hidalgo from Spirit Juice Studios are the cinema artists behind our upcoming documentary on Blessed James Alberione, founder of the Pauline Family. You know the one—the preview they made with screenwriter Sr. Helena Burns is a permanent fixture on the right side bar of this blog.

Well, they did it again, this time for the Paulists, in collaboration with Outside da Box. At just over five minutes, Palm Sunday is a quickie for teens, but packs such a punch that even adults are left reeling—or weeping, as safety coach and Facebook friend David Sarkus unabashedly admitted on my Wall.

From the Palm Sunday Web site: “Brothers Julio and Marvin become restless during the reading of the Passion, and begin playfully slapping one another with palms they received upon their visit to church. Unsurprisingly, their mother is not amused with their behavior. After a brief scolding, the two simmer down only for a moment before they agree to a wager with one another: who can shout ‘crucify him’ the loudest. Once arranged, the younger of the brothers gets overwhelmed by the experience.”

In just nine days, the flick on YouTube has received almost 9,000 views. What is it about his passion that, as Jesus predicted, would draw everyone to himself, when he would be “lifted up” from the earth? (cf. Jn. 12:32) It can’t just be a morbid fascination with torture or death. We can glut ourselves with such depictions anywhere. Neither is it the politics or intrigue, common enough in any thriller. It probably doesn’t even have much to do with the fact that it happened to God: even those who don’t completely share our convictions are often inexplicably attracted by something beyond simple curiosity.

The fact of the matter is, the paschal mystery is at the core of our faith and of who we are as redeemed persons. We pick up the Liturgy of the Word each day and read the texts through the prism of this, the greatest drama the world will ever know. In fact, how Mark’s Gospel has been described is true to some extent of each of the four: “a passion narrative with a long introduction.” The New Testament apostolic letters, as well as texts from the Hebrew Scriptures (Old Testament), take on their full richness of meaning in light of the passion, death, and resurrection of Christ.

“All because of us. All because his Father asked him to love us to death,” says Jesuit Bob McMillan. “Not just to heal our ills—a wart, a backache, a foot problem—but to recreate us.” His obedience earned goodness for us and showed us goodness and does goodness in and through us. “We may look awkward at it. We may not make it look easy or flashy, but we can do it.” Like any little kid at a ballet recital or on the baseball diamond, we who are “imitators of God, as beloved children,” (Eph. 5:1), may stumble in the attempt, but God is busting buttons that we’re even trying.

This may surprise you, but there’s a huge chance that Christ is beckoning you to plunge with him into the passion this year as you never have. Why not ask him how? It might be to attend one of the services of Holy Thursday or Good Friday, or of the Easter Vigil, that you didn’t plan to attend. It might be to spend an extra fifteen minutes with the Word at a set time each of these next ten days during Holy Week and Easter Week and notice if there’s a recurring theme in the Word or the season’s symbols just for you—light in the darkness, the new life of spring, the empty tomb…. It might be to finally carry out that act of almsgiving you promised you’d do at the beginning of Lent, or to take the first steps toward a reconciliation with someone you know—and really do love. Whatever it is, it’s worth letting him take the lead and just attentively follow. Our community will pray in these days that you will let him surprise you with peace and joy. If you think of it, would you do the same for us?

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Our sisters in Sendai, Japan, are beginning the process of recovery of their home and media center which were severely damaged in last month’s earthquakes. Thanks to your generosity, we’ve been able to raise $3,694.00 for them.

We will complete this fundraising project on Mother’s Day, May 8. So, if you haven’t yet donated as you had planned, the window of opportunity is still open for another two weeks. You can donate securely online here. Or if you prefer to send a check, you can make it out to the Daughters of St. Paul and mail it to my attention (Sr. Margaret J. Obrovac, FSP) at 50 St. Paul’s Ave. Boston, MA  02130.

Questions? E-mail me at margaretjo@paulinemedia.com or call 617-676-4423.

Regardless of what you may choose to do materially, we ask you to continue praying with us for the Japanese people. Prayer suggestions have been prepared by our sisters with audio and visual accompaniment also at http://www.pauline.org/, on the right side bar. The site also includes suggestions for talking with children about this natural disaster especially.

For additional Catholic information, including the initiatives of the Holy See and the current spiritual climate in Japan, refer to the Fides News Agency.

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From http://www.paoline.org/ (Daughters of St. Paul international site):

The Pakistani Christian Masihi Foundation has declared 20 April as a day of prayer and fasting for Asia Bibi.

On that day, every Christian in the world is invited to light a candle and say a prayer for this Pakistani woman who has been condemned to death for blasphemy and who is currently being held in the Sheikupura prison in Punjab. Informed about the initiative, Asia [said], “I am grateful to the Masihi Foundation for having organized this event, which gives me the hope that perhaps I will live. I feel loved by the Catholic Church and all the Christian communities throughout the world. I am proud to be the daughter of such a loving and merciful community. I want to send a message of peace and love to the whole world.”

Paul Bhatti, the brother of Shahbaz Bhatti, the recently-slain minister for religious minorities in Pakistan, has also lent his support to this event. Like his deceased brother, Paul Bhatti is Catholic and is a special councilor for the country’s religious minorities.
“I want to assure every-one that I am working with the [Pakistani] government and religious minorities to find a solution to this problem,” he said, “so as to prevent other innocent people from becoming victims of the current law concerning blasphemy.”

Loving Lent

“Charity covers a multitude of sins” (1Pt. 4:8).
Once when I was a postulant, we were trying to raise money for something. (Some things never change.) I had been in religious life all of about a year. Having witnessed and experienced my parents’ generosity, I decided to write and ask them to help out. With all the zeal of a neophyte, but less than half the sense, I did them the "honor" of scribbling those words to them. That such episodes never soured them testifies to their goodness and sense of humor, as well as pure parental indulgence. If I’ve acquired any grace under fire over the years, I got it from them.

This verse from the first letter of Peter is one of those Christian proverbs that goes way back to pre-Christian days, but spoke to the early Church as it prepared itself for the final coming of Christ. Of course, like many oft-repeated bits of popular wisdom taken out of context, it has been applied in one or two ways that cause listeners to stop dead in their tracks and wonder what they missed in ethics class.


"Be reconciled to God!" (2Cor. 5:20)

One thing it doesn’t mean is that if we indulge in less than virtuous living, all we have to do is toss a few bucks in the direction of the nearest non-profit for our slate to be wiped clean. Charity presumes at least an effort to change our ways or to mend fences with someone. Unfortunately, over the past several years, charity has become synonymous with philanthropy. When I was a middle-schooler I asked my mother if they were the same thing. She told me, “Not always. Philanthropists can give to people without loving God. You can’t do that if you give out of charity.” I got it. Love covers a multitude of sins.

Last week I picked up some ribbon at a local fabric store for a project. At the counter, I spotted some craft paper on sale, but since I hadn’t brought enough money for both, I put it back. The check-out clerk noticed and asked me if I was Catholic; turns out, he himself was not and hadn’t darkened the doorstep of a church in a while. No matter; he was chatty and not at all intimidated. He offered to buy the paper for me, and as he attempted to ring it up, the register refused to cooperate. After three attempts, the words slipped out: it was quite mild as profanity goes, but he rushed to apologize. “That’s OK,” I said, spinning the proverb, “everything’s forgiven with a full discount!” He laughed, then asked for prayers. “Anything in particular?” I ventured. He hesitated. “Oh, I can tell you,” he finally answered, his eyes filling. “I have HIV.”

You can’t say a whole lot in the check-out line, and it’s probably just as well. He managed to say that he was living with someone, then added, “I know the Catholic Church doesn’t approve….” “Well,” I answered, “I don’t agree with the lifestyle, but persons are important, and I pray for persons.” He invited me back and agreed to pray for me, too. Without minimizing the precariousness of their condition, I figure that even if people don’t pray for themselves, if they pray for me, they’re connecting with God. Then I leave it to God to work out the details.


Ash Wednesday 2011,
our Boston chapel


Ash Wednesday, with its prescription of prayer, fasting, and almsgiving as an antidote for our self-centeredness and self-righteousness, appeals to donors and beneficiaries both, to re-examine how we love. These practices are meant to hollow out within us a space for God and others, so we can more easily and clearly reset the priorities we opted for when we made our baptismal commitment to follow Christ. When we give, it’s not just because the IRS is looking over our shoulder or because we profit from the world’s esteem. When we receive, it’s without competition or a sense of entitlement. Love partners with repentance to help us recognize our interdependence and to reach out to others with respect and genuine compassion.

In his Lenten message this year, Pope Benedict XVI offers the image of Baptism and the Word of God from the Sunday readings as our reference points for celebrating this season. Love has been the underlying theme of his three enclyclicals. He picks up this thread in his reflections for Lent and guides us into opening ourselves to the charity proclaimed in the Gospel and first infused in us at Baptism for the forgiveness of sin.

Near the conclusion of his letter, Peter sums up his exhortation to love with practical advice on making charity feel at home in our lives: “To the extent that each of you has received a gift, use it to serve one another….so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ…” (1Pt. 4:10-11).

Pictured above, beginning at top: Jaymie Stuart Wolfe, PBM associate children's editor, Sr. Denise Cecilia Benjamin, FSP, marketing director, Anthony Ruggiero, acquisitions associate, Sr. M. Mark Wickenhiser, FSP, Rev. Joseph Mozer, Sr. Fay Josephine Pele, FSP.